Very Last Moment in Time
by Guitarchick727
Summary: You haven't seen each other in almost a decade. What are you to do when you're one true love comes back with some important information?
1. Finally Moving On

It's been seven years and you're still on my mind. You were always on my mind. I still remember the first time I saw you. I remember a lot that I wish I didn't. I wish I could forget you. I wish I could forget the pain you put me through.

I loved you with everything that I had and I know it wasn't much, but you loved me unconditionally just the same. That's why I don't understand how everything came crashing down. You told me you couldn't handle having a girlfriend after the shooting. You went to your parents and you left me to my drunken mother. You left me and left scars on my wrist.

When you left I started cutting again. But you wouldn't know that. The day you left was the last day I saw you, the last day I talked to you. I was in worse shape than I ever was. Do you remember the time you were going to move when Tracker got that new job? I ran away because I wanted to cut. I didn't want you to go. I even pulled out the razor, but you know what I thought about it and realized we could work things out. This time was different. You didn't want to work things out. So, Ashley, the good friend that she is, got me help again and soon stopped cutting. I still have the urge every time I think of you, but the rubber bands are still there.

Now, at the tender age of 23, I've finally decided to let you go. I'm moving on. I didn't want to let you go for the longest time hoping you would come back. It's been seven long and painful years. I finally have the strength and courage to move on. Its taken me long enough to realize that you're never coming back. Now that I have, it hurts to move on, but I am. I'm through waiting for you and I'm through of wishing that you're coming back.

But if there is one thing I want you to know, it's that I will always love you. No matter how I forget you; you will always have a place in my heart.


	2. Coffee

I hated living alone in a big house. It made me feel lonely and unloved. It was worse when I lived with my drunken mother who treated me as if I didn't exist. So I tolled over in bed and stretched out feeling lonesome.

After Sean left, I was alone most of the time. Sean broke my heart and I had no intention of getting hurt again. The only time I wasn't alone was when Ashley used to stay over.

Recently Ashley had been spending time over here because of her wedding plans. She would stay here not to bug her fiancé, Craig. Craig and Ashley had worked things out and were engaged for the longest time. Craig was in the music business and stayed up till dawn working. He would get annoyed with the wedding plans. Ashley would come here and I would help with the details. Considering I was maid of honor, I had a lot of influence on the wedding.

I fished around for my telephone to call Ashley. I lifted the pillows and the blankets to find it. No where to be found. I buried my head around the pillows again. I just started to fall back asleep when there was a loud crash from downstairs. I shot up in bed grabbing my black robe as I rushed down to the kitchen. I slipped on the floor bumping into Ashley. What was Ashley doing in my house?

"Ash, what are you doing? Why are you here?" I asked pulling myself up.

She rubbed her ass as she got up. "Ellie, have you lost your mind? Today is March 20, 2011 or to most people, my wedding day. El, you know that."

I slapped my forehead forgetting the most important thing: Ashley's wedding. I started racing around the kitchen looking for paper. "We need to do: our makeup, get dressed, do our hair, get the flowers…" I kept rambling on as Ashley stood there staring at me.

She chuckled loudly, "Ellie, would you relax? It's my wedding day and you're more nervous than I am. My mom is coming over at 11 to do our hair and makeup. The flowers are coming at 11:30. Just take a deep breath. What's got you so worked up anyway?"

I sighed, "I'm just a little curious on who's the best man considering I'm the maid of honor. I would just like to know who I'm walking down the aisle with. It's a comfort thing."

"Don't worry about it. Trust me you'll like who it is. I can tell you that you know this person and like this person, but that's all otherwise Craig will kill me. So…have any dreams about my wedding last night?"

"No, but I did have a strange dream. It was about Sean, Sean Cameron. I didn't understand it. I haven't seen him in almost a decade and here he is in my dream. I was standing in the hallway that Sean asked me out in Degrassi. Marco is there and he tells me that Sean is looking for me. I'm awestruck. So of course stupid me, I go looking for him. I see him in the media immersion lab with his back to me but when I go to talk to him, he vanishes. What do you think that means?"

Ashley went over to the cupboard and pulled out two coffee mugs. "Maybe he's here and wants to see you, but he's afraid you won't understand why he left. It seems like he's right here, yet so far away. El, I really don't know. Just don't let it bother you."

I sat there holding the warm mug wondering why Ash was being so secretive. She seemed to have something hidden away. Today was her day; she had ever reason to be. I smiled meekly at her as she took her coffee and walked upstairs.

I still couldn't help but think something was going on. So what if the other bridesmaids didn't know their escorts? I was the fucking maid of honor. The maid of honor is supposed to talk to the best man. This was making it harder and heard to be a good friend and maid of honor. Nevertheless, I put my insecurities aside and let my thoughts of Sean and the best man float away like the steam rising from the coffee.


	3. Behind Blue Eyes

Hours late, Ashley and I stood at the back of the church. It was a beautiful sunny day with a warm breeze blowing through the trees. Ashley was holding my hand crying silently. She looked gorgeous. She had on a halter top lace dress. The way it fit her was like the ay she fit with Craig: tight and snug. Ash squeezed my hand and nudged me to look out the door. I glanced out to see Craig standing in his pinstriped suit. Craig had matured since high school. Good thing otherwise Ashley would have been miserable.

The music started to play and the ceremony began. The flower girl started her walk gracefully throwing pink and purple rose petals. The ring barer didn't just bare the ring but his butt as well. Everyone got a big laugh out of that. Now it was time for the court to make their entrance. The girls and guys were separated by a doorway only to meet before entering the chapel. The court was Jimmy and Hazel, who were just friends now; Spinner and Terri, who had dated a few years ago; and Paige and Marco, Paige was no engaged to some guy she met over a year ago and Marco and Dylan were still dating now. Lastly, it was me and mystery date. I started to fidget as I waited to see him. I took my two steps and met a pair of eyes I had not seen for the longest time. The eyes were lighter no and looked more beautiful than ever. I turned away from his eyes and kept my hand loose in his.

"What are you doing here? I'm surprised you would show your face after what you did to me." My voice came out quiet but harshly to make my point.

Sean brushed his hand over mine soothingly. "I'm the best man. Why are you here?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"I'm the maid of honor. I can't believe you would show up after you left me! Why did you leave?" I asked letting curiosity get the best of me.

His gentle eyes met the anger in mine. "I'm sorry I left. But please let me explain." His eyes sparkled as he asked for one last chance to make things right.

My heart sank to my stomach making me want the Sean I used to love. I couldn't deny the fact that I wanted to know the truth. My heart pounded and I took my last step. "After the wedding."

He held me hand and kissed it as we separated. I walked to my spot where I would stand beside the bride. Ashley appeared in the archway of the church and proceeded down the aisle with Mr. Kerwin.

During the ceremony, I would catch Sean looking a t me. His eyes always seemed to meet mine. Looking at him you couldn't think he had changed. But I could. I knew Sean better than anyone in the room. No one knew the real reason why he left, but I knew it was something besides the shooting. His eyes said it all; they couldn't lie to me.

The ceremony was short and sweet. Ashley and Craig wrote their own vows. By the time it was over, Ashley had cried most of her makeup off. She couldn't help it and no one could blame her. Craig was being every girl's dream with his vows and love for Ash. At the end of the wedding they were Mr. and Mrs. Craig Manning.

The reception was held in my backyard all decorated with flowers and white tents and tables. Each table had tiny vanilla candles and a dozen of mixed purple and pink roses. The patio was covered with a linoleum floor provided by the d.j. The floor was crowded with friends and family. The whole time people were telling me how beautiful the wedding and the house looked.

I watched my friends dance and enjoy the celebration. Ashley and Craig had danced non-stop, except to eat food. Sean stood alone for most of the wedding party, but talked to Jimmy and Mr. Jeremiah for a while. I stood by myself for a while eating cake and other desserts.

Sean Smiled at me from across the dance floor and shoved his hands in his pocket as he approached me. He looked debonair in his tuxedo. He walked slowly towards me, trying not to make a scene. When he finally reached me, he bowed politely. "May I have this dance, fair lady?"

I chuckled to myself. He was still light heartedly when it came to romance. "I'd love to." I slid my hand into his as he led to the dance floor. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held my hand in his. All around the room people stood and watched us. Paige and Hazel even started making comments. I ignored them and continued to dance. I could now only hear Sean's heart beating.

He whispered low in my ear, "Considering all the people don't want me here, I seemed to be welcome with open arms, Miss Ellie Nash."

I slapped his shoulder playfully. "Well, Ashley and the rest of the girls weren't too pleased that you left. You have no idea what you put me through. You didn't leave because of the shooting, did you?"

He looked to his left to ignore my question. He knew I was right. "Ashley and Craig have forgiven me. They know why I left. They understand, but you, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. But you know I didn't leave because of the shooting." His eyes returned to mine.

"It's nice that Ashley and Craig forgave you, but I haven't. Don't you think I'm a little more important? For god's sake, I'm the girl who loves you…loved you!"

"You still love me, El? Ellie, Eleanor, I left for you. I left because I didn't want you to get hurt. El, I loved you too much to lose you."

I scoffed at him, "You left for me? You loved me too much to lose me? How does that make any sense, Sean? You left me! You hurt me!"

"Ellie please let me explain. After the shooting, you know I went back home. Well, after I went back, I got mixed up in a gang. The gang was my family. Until someone got shot: me. One of the rival gangs came after me and a few the other gang members and got me. I tired to get out but I was stuck. The only way out was through the box. After that day, I had to stop seeing you for your own sake. I did it to protect you. Say someone found out about you, and then they might have gone after you to get to me. But I got out. They let me out because I didn't do much. I had helped them a lot when I first joined but now they didn't need me. They wanted younger members, not me." He gripped my hand tight in his as he told me this. I couldn't tell if he was lying. I glanced up at his eyes but for some reason his eyes were clouded and hazy. I couldn't read him. I didn't know what to believe.

"I'm sorry." I laid my head against his chest and just listened to his beating heart. Sean still loved me. I could tell in his eyes and the way he held me in his arms. That's why he came back, because he loved me. The question was did I still love him? And if I did, did I believe the gang story?


	4. Let Me Love You

The rest of the wedding seemed like a blur. I continued to dance with Sean and a few dances with Craig. During one of those dances, Craig asked if everything was alright. I explained to him that I knew why Sean left but didn't know if I believed him.

"El, why would he lie to you? I understand that it seems a little outrageous, but he still loves you. He knows it has been rough on you and he wants to makeup for all he's lost. Believe him and forgive him." He leaned forward kissing my forehead.

"I know. I've been trying to reason with my heart. I think I'm just scared to get hurt again."

"Everyone its time for me to toss the bouquet. Okay girls, get ready!" Ash shouted cheerfully. She turned her back to where the girls were standing. I wasn't part of the group I didn't like any of this tossing of the bouquet. I never felt that it told you who was going to be the next bride. Craig then pushed me in the middle of the group as soon as Ash threw it behind her head. All the girls around me started fighting over it until it landed in my lap. I looked down to see the red and purple roses and my face got deadpanned. I didn't want it. Ashley and Craig didn't look surprised.

Craig and Ashley left soon after and I was left alone again. I headed into the house to change into some comfortable pajamas. Another night alone, I murmured to myself. I walked up the back steps and turned the knob when someone called my name. I turned around to see Sean running towards me.

"El, could I ask you for a favor?" he was breathless. I nodded. "Would you mind if I stayed here for the night? I'm supposed to go to Craig's house and I feel a little strange staying in his house while he's not there. It would just be one night. I wouldn't throw a party like when we lived together. I promise." He held his pinky up to me. I hooked mine with his taking his promise.

"Why don't you just go home if you don't want to stay at Craig's?" I asked curiously.

"It's 8 and Wasaga Beach is three hours away. Plus with the few drinks that I had, you can say I'm not the safest to drive right now."

"You know I hate people who drink. My mom killed herself driving drunk, but you wouldn't know that. I can't let you drive so I'll make up the guest bedroom. It may smell a little like Ashley. She's been sleeping here the last few nights because of the wedding." I walked into the house, Sean following behind me.

"You mean I'm not sleeping in your bed?" he joked pulling me to him. He held my waist to his as he leaned against the backdoor. His finger curled around my body made chills go up my spine. "You know you want me. It's in your eyes."

I looked away and pulled from his captivating grip. "I'll show you the room." I walked into the kitchen and up the stairs. The stairs creaked under our feet. The hou8se was old when I had bought it but I put a lot of work into it to fix it up. The house was now the way I wanted it to be.

The room was just a bit smaller than mine with a mixed blue carpet and light blue painted walls. Hanging on one wall was my favorite piece of art: Van Gogh's Starry Night. The other walls were bare except for the oak dresser against the wall with the door. The bed was an Oak Norman bedstead with carved paneled decoration that I had inherited from an aunt that I never knew.

Sean glanced around the room, "Small but nice. Can I see your room?" He winked at me and put his arm around my shoulder. "El, would you loosen up a bit? You're so tense around me."

I shrugged him off continuing down the hall to my room. I stopped in the doorway and turned back to Sean. He smiled and his eyes glowed that made his face light up. "I'm getting in the bath. Help yourself to the refrigerator and to the entertainment system."

"Thanks, I'm going to stop at Craig's and pick up my stuff. I'll be back later." Sean pulled his keys out of his suit jacket and left for Craig's.

I went to my room and turned on the water for my bath. I filled the bath with hot steaming water and vanilla bubble bath. I lit the vanilla scented candles that hung in the chandler. I slipped out of the bridesmaid dress and into the tub.

Lying there, I had flashbacks of Sean and me. The moment I told him I loved him, the time I moved in with him, the time he was supposed to move and the moment he left. I loved Sean and I still did. Thinking about our past, tears formed and fell into the tub. Sean and I couldn't get back together. He's been gone for seven years. How am I supposed to pick up things where we left them after we both have changed? I can't forget what he did to me when he left. I looked down at my wrists and saw the scars that now imprinted my skin. Not all of them were his fault, but some of them were. Those ones were the deepest and hurt the most.

I wanted to move on with my life. I wanted Sean to be in that life. The problem that bothered me most was being able to stay in love with Sean. I loved the old Sean, but could I love the new Sean?

There was a light tap on my bedroom door. "El, I'm back. I'm just going to watch some TV. before I go to bed." The door closed and I wiped the tears from my face. I got out of the tub and wrapped my black robe close around my wet body. I went back into my room and sat upon my bed. I took my brush and ran it through my hair pulling it into a sloppy bun. I slipped into an old concert t-shirt and gray sweatpants.

I could hear the TV. playing reruns of 24 from the living room. I ventured downstairs to say goodnight to Sean. The steps gave way to my entrance as he saw me come down the last two steps. "Hey beautiful. Come to join me for a little boob tube?" He smiled at me hopefully.

"No, I just came down to tell you goodnight."

"Oh, okay. You don't have work tomorrow, do you?"

"No, not on Saturday. I'm just tired from the wedding. I need to catch up on sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. Night, Sean."

Before I could head upstairs, he grabbed my wrist and kissed my hand. "Good night, Ang-El."

That night sleep wasn't even a word in my dictionary. I tossed and turned, fidgeted and fussed. I tried turning on my radio and reading the thriller novel I bought the week before, but nothing seemed to work. I got so tired of trying to sleep that I got up and walked downstairs to watch TV. I wasn't paying much attention when I got there.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Sean's voice scared me. I hadn't realized he was there. I looked at him seeing the TV. light his face.

I shook my head realizing he asked me a question. "Yeah, I think I just need a bedtime snack." I walked to the kitchen to grab a pint of Ben and Jerry's Half Baked ice cream. Half Baked was chocolate and vanilla ice cream mixed with brownies and cookie dough, my favorite. I pulled two spoons from the kitchen drawer and rejoined Sean on the loveseat.

"Mmm, ice cream, good choice. Ben and Jerry's even better. Thanks," Sean said taking the spoon from me and dug it into the fattening sweets. "Hold on, let me get a blanket. We're going to get cold after eating this." He got up and went to grab the fleece blanket off the big couch. He laid it across our laps.

I leaned into him so I could feel his body heat. I stole the remote from the arm of the couch and flipped channels until I found West Side Story. I left that on as we ate the ice cream.

Sean stopped eating when Tony first saw Maria. He looked at me placing his spoon in the tub. "El, stop eating for a sec. Look at me." I dropped the spoon and his hand pulled my face to look at him. "Ellie, I love you and I'm sorry for the way I acted. Ellie, you mean the world to me. I don't understand why you don't let me love. I want you to know that I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I love you, Ellie Nash, more than you know. Let me love you." He held my face in his hands. His eyes were clear and more sincere than ever. He leaned in and so did I until our lips met in the middle. I let him kiss me. I let myself fall back into that trap.

We separated a few moments later. A smile spread across my lips. I loved Sean, and even if it wasn't the same Sean I could learn to love this Sean. I placed my head on his shoulder and watched the movie. After that I didn't have a problem sleeping.


End file.
